Thanks for stealing my laptop!

Thanks a lot, jackass. Way to break into my office and steal two laptops and one digital camera. Thanks for choosing my nice new laptop. Thanks for taking all the music I've downloaded or ripped in the last two months. Thanks for stealing all my passwords saved in firefox. Thanks for taking away all the emails I sent and received over the last two months--I really want those back.

Fuck you. But you're dumb. Why didn't you take the power chord, you fool? Why didn't you take the $150 bottle of absinthe on my desk? Why didn't you take my digital camera on my desk (thankfully I keep my camera in a Relix coozie so on first glance it doesn't look like a camera).

I hope someone has a very nice Christmas with my new laptop, but fuck you. I'm pissed.